Hello 2018

Hello 2018

So, we are in that time of goodwill to all men. That time when we usually pledge our good intentions of change. And speaking of good intentions of change, for some unknown reason to me yet, I’m making resolutions. Attainable resolutions for a change. New moderations. I usually don’t make new year resolutions (I find them to be a waste of time) but this time, I thought I would share mine with you. My 2018 resolution is simple, I intend to expand my hobbies…

  1. Focus on art. Make more drawings, practice painting and make more art pieces.
  2. Take up swimming classes. I’ve been meaning to start in the past years but I haven’t gotten around it yet. And I have to exercise to stay healthy. So, swimming it is.
  3. Tailoring. November last year, I had begun taking tailoring classes. Unfortunately, they were cut short because I got a job offer. Well, sort of. So, I want to complete my tailoring classes. And I also want to learn carpentry as well.
  4. Take up gardening. Because apart from growing vegetables and using them in the kitchen (fresh veggies taste fabulous), gardening is good for you. I know gardening can lead to neck strains and backaches. I know it’s not easy and can get messy, leaving you looking like you’ve been digging tunnels with your bare hands; and may not provide instant gratification but it’s transformative. It’s a journey of discovery and it is fun. It’s a creative, continual learning process. It’s rewarding standing in your garden, looking at the green things growing around you. Gardening is beautiful. Gardening is magical.
  5. Read more books. I don’t read half as many books as I would like to. I want to read not just photo captions on Instagram or WhatsApp statuses. I want to read every book I can get my hands on or (illegally) download. Sadly, I open a book and 10 minutes later I’m already dozing off (is it just me or books are like sleeping pills to you too?) I’m really ashamed of myself. I need prayers.
  6. Procrastinate less. I am a super lazy, but also highly motivated individual (yeah, I know how contradictory this sounds but it’s true). Procrastination is my specialty, but I’m trying to procrastinate less. I really am. I intend to leave it behind in 2017. Pray for me.
  7. Earn a driver’s license (so help me God).
  8. Positively impact the lives of as many people as possible. 

At the end of the year, I hope to have crossed most (if not all, haha) of the items off this list and enjoy the simple pleasure of accomplishment. Then I can pat myself on the back, smile and say “I’m a good girl”.


Highlights of 2017

When I was a kid, I used to believe in Santa. That time around Christmas, Santa used to come to school. Santa would give out Christmas presents and reward the best performing and well-behaved students. I so loved that period. In preparation of the event, with our teachers’ help, we would make Christmas decorations and cards for our folks, rehearse Christmas carols, plays and poems…it was very fun. And I always looked forward to that time. Sometimes, I wish I were a kid so that I could go back to that period. That care-free period. That period of innocence. When your folks paid a sum of money for you to go color within boundaries, sing, eat and play around till they came to pick you up. When you took a long nap and everyone would be proud of you.

Anyways, now that I have grown up, I don’t believe in Santa anymore though I still want to.

But I still love and celebrate Christmas. Who doesn’t love Christmas anyway? There’s so much positive energy during that time of the year…smiles coming from everyone, being friendly is the norm, everyone is jolly… Christmas is such an amazing time of the year. Christmas brings a change of mood. It warms up people’s spirits. You walk around and see all the fairy lights and pretty decorations that make everything so colorful and jolly. The mere feeling that it is Christmas is enough to make anyone happy. The warmth that Christmas brings is something that is amazing to end the year with.

2017 has been a tough year for me, being super broke, drawing, taking bamboo weaving lessons and learning Chinese (nimehau), being broke, taking tailoring lessons, making art pieces. This year held some of the happiest and saddest moments I’ve ever experienced.

Here are my moments of 2017, in no particular order…

#Graduating: I can imagine myself the very first day I set foot on campus, completely unaware of what was waiting for me. If only I could go back and tell myself to take the nearest exit and run as far away as possible, I would. My college years were bad, but my senior year was incredibly terrible. Anyways in February, I finally graduated. With decent grades. Hooray.

#Being an aunt: With a grateful heart, appreciation to my dear sisters for making little humans in their lady parts, I wish to announce that this December, I became an aunt to 3 beautiful babies…Liam, Nathan and Ella Nia.

#Worst moment: Nursing a heartbreak. During the first months of this year, I was nursing a terrible heartache and felt horrible because he made me feel so inadequate. I had no self-respect and I’d abandoned myself. I was defeated by my own self, by my lack of self-worth and my own inability to find myself. I was completely out of touch with who I was. But eventually, hearts heel. Thankfully, I emerged out strong and realized how dumb I’d been. Now, a butterfly is emerging from the cold, dark cocoon it’s been hiding in.

#Best Angela moment: Making my first art piece (from scratch). One of my best friends was getting married. But I was super broke, that I couldn’t afford to buy her a wedding gift. My escape plan was to make her a wedding gift myself. So, I googled for ideas and started working on it. Et voilà, I had the perfect gift for her. And then my journey as an artist began.

My first art piece

The latest art piece (pencil drawing)

My latest art piece

#Best event: Kler’s baby shower. What’s a great way to celebrate a mum-to-be? Oh yeah, you guessed it. So, as our close friend, we thought of throwing a small baby shower for her. Vicki was the organizer of the event and I was in charge of decoration. And together, we made this…

Kler very much liked it all. So, it was a success.

A week later, Kler asked me to help her decorate the nursery. And I made her these…

Wall hangings for the nursery

#Weird moment: Completing my thesis was a frustrating struggle, but I finally made it and graduated *claps hands for myself* Then later to my surprise, my supervisor asked for a copy of my thesis, to present in a conference on cancer in Africa (AORTIC conference). 
#Weird realization: After extensive research and consideration, I’m convinced that adulthood ain’t for me (I’m still mind blown that I’m an adult). I’m an arrested adolescent and I don’t have a care in the world. I believe I got into adulthood uneventfully, without notice and I’m still trying to figure out a way out of this.

#Thank you: Leopard has been besides me throughout this year, offering me a shoulder to cry on, always listening, even when tired. Without judging me. Leopard is genuinely concerned with the outcome of my life and I thank God for bringing Leopard into my life.

Leopard, this goes out to you. Thanks for being patient with me, for always putting up with me even when I was being a pain in the ass. And thanks for always being honest. I do really appreciate your time and tireless effort to make me smile. Thank you.

#Lessons of 2017

  • To always choose myself over anything and everything. 
  • What got me here is what will get me there. As long as I show up every day, I can make it. 

Happy 2018 y’all.


As we’re heading into the holidays, I can’t help it but scratch my head as to how 2017 has whizzed by. 2017 has been a year of change, for me. During the first month of 2017, I was still working on my thesis. Things didn’t turn out exactly the way I’d anticipated, thus completing the thesis was a frustrating struggle…I could imagine myself the very first day I set foot on campus, completely unaware of what was waiting for me. I thought that if only I could go back and tell myself to take the nearest exit and run as far away as possible, I would. But, I don’t want to make it seem as though my senior year was bad because it wasn’t. Rather, it was incredibly terrible! I now look back at those times and ask myself “How did I get through all that?” 

Within the second month of 2017, I walked out of a toxic relationship that I was in for 4 whole years! However, during the months that followed the breakup, sadness and anger permeated my life. The anger was manifested into healthy steps to rectify what was wrong. I slowly dug myself back out of the dark pit that I was in. And since we’d broke up I was able to see what was going on more clearly. I realized that sometimes people just do and say shitty things, but there’s nothing one can do about it. Except to leave them to do the lame shit that they do. And just walk away, which is the best thing I’ve did for myself. And since then, unimaginably good things have transpired in my life (can I hear an Amen?!) The unrequited love helped me so much on my journey of growth and self-discovery. Moving slowly, I became who I was before all the bullshit that dimmed my shine happened…I now love myself more and I have no scruple with protecting myself from those who don’t reciprocate the same (level of) love. And I’ve made a resolution to be as authentic about my feelings as I can be. So, I no longer care about what people think, as much as I thought I did. 

Also in February, I finally graduated. Well, I didn’t maintain As all 4 years of college. Neither did I land an awesome job nor did I find my one true love with whom I would start my forever after college. Hehe. However, I did graduate with decent grades.


Some of the lessons (the importanter ones) I’ve learned in 2017…

  • Some people will dislike you for no apparent reason. Yeah, just like that. Last year, when I was working on my dissertation I met this woman, the head of Pathology department at some institution. As the boss, I had to first go to her (for permission) to collect the data I needed for my thesis. But every single time that she saw me, she had an excuse (she was great at cooking excuses) to send me back. From this woman, I learnt the importance of plan B. I also learnt that things eventually work out. But, always have a plan B.
  • Nothing is ever that serious – getting dumped by the love of your life (or so you thought), having your thesis rejected, failing a course, getting fired – few years down the line, you’ll be wondering why you were so stressed out. It takes time to heal but at the end of the day, everything comes back to normal. Just chill. Everything works out in the end.
  • Life is not a race. Life is rather more like a marathon where some people started earlier, some have bigger lungs, some cheat and take shortcuts. Some even do not finish the marathon. Some take longer than others, but that does not mean that they failed. I may be a crab-walker but I am moving forward. Besides what awaits us all at the end is the great equalizer, death. So, no need to rush.
  • You’ll never have it all figured out. Never. Life will screw you over and over again. And life will constantly hand you lemons, so learn how to make lemonade.
  • Not to compare myself to others. In the puzzle of trying to find myself, I often find myself comparing myself to what others have achieved at my age. However, I’m always reminded that just like a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, but just blooms, I have to do my thing, at my own pace, but not because I feel pressured to.
  • Peace of mind is the best gift I can give myself. It is priceless. I don’t pressurize myself to do things that my mind isn’t comfortable with in the name of not being socially awkward. It is liberating not to be burdened by other people’s opinions of you.
  • To always choose myself over anything and everything. To be selfish with myself, my time, and my energy. 
  • To lower my expectations of others. The expectation of getting what we give in return, is where we fail in life. I’ve learned that people don’t disappoint, but rather our expectations of them.
  • What got me here is what will get me there. As long as I show up every day, I can make it. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year y’all.

The pleasures of cooking your own food

This is really little, but it made my day. One Saturday I was traveling with my best friend to the countryside (for a friend’s wedding). As soon as I sat next to her on the bus, she quickly told me that I looked great, which put an enormous smile on my face. And recently, some people have been telling me that I’ve put on some weight, which makes me feel fantastic that it’s noticeable. Isn’t it wonderful how sometimes, the littlest things can touch you in the perfect way? Well, it’s just a thought, but to me an act of kindness is a gift to you, as well as the person you give it to.

However, months ago, it was the opposite. I knew it was bad when I would meet people I know and they would look at me shocked. Everyone asked me what was wrong because I was losing weight. I started to hate how I looked. I felt ugly. But I didn’t imagine that my relationship was the cause. Little did I know, it was a toxic relationship. My life was deteriorating. Toxic relationships can drain the life out of you and sometimes you don’t really see the damage until you force yourself out. Finally, the relationship ended and I had to find self-love all over again. Through nursing my heart to health, I googled articles on weight gain. All the answers seemed to be the same. Increasing calories intake. More calories meant EATING! Eating lots and lots. I had to force myself to eat more, and consistently. I began with taking breakfast, daily. I usually skipped breakfast, because:

One, most of the times I woke up really late and it would be lunch time. I also wasn’t into breakfast because I had no appetite in the morning. It meant forcing food down.

Two, because of waking up late, my mornings would be a mad dash getting ready for classes and by the time I would be ready, there would be no time left to sit and have breakfast. I would just be rushing out the door.


Two years later, I now take care of me on a regular basis. I no longer skip breakfast. I’ve learned to eat breakfast and it has helped me to build healthy eating habits. My goal is healthy eating (to put on some extra weight), and the best way to do so is to cook for myself as much as I can. 

Since childhood, I’m obsessed with great food. All of my favorite family memories involve food (in some way). My most cherished moments include mom cooking hearty meals for us during weekends. And, so my relationship with food has been a loving one. Today, as Mom is ageing, I’m learning to cook so I can take over that responsibility from her and still make good meals like her. 

Cooking is a craft and learning to cook is one of the essential human skills. My cooking skills are nowhere near as good as I want them to be, but with continuous practice I’ll be good in a few years to come. If I’m in a good mood (or not feeling lazy), and with ingredients and some time, I try to make food that’s tastier. Cooking challenges creativity and encourages to discover new dishes. I don’t always know what I’m going to cook, I just take what’s available and use it the tastiest way I can think of. I also look up recipes (what would I do without Google?), and cook them myself. Some I recreate successfully, some I don’t. I love it when I succeed at a dish and I’ll curse for hours when I fail but I still love it.

Cooking gives great pleasure and is rewarding. There’s something about feeding people. I am always delighted watching contentment spread across my folks’ faces when I prepare for them a delicious meal. I find it immensely satisfying watching my younger brother eat chapatis or a salad that I made. There’s a special feeling when they say the food I cooked was delicious. It is a huge motivator for me to keep spending time in the kitchen learning how to cook. It makes me feel good to give someone something tasty and enjoyable that I made. I love the process of creation. However, when laziness kicks in, then I have no interest in food if I have to make it myself. That’s when I don’t see cooking as a craft, but rather as a chore. And that’s when I’ll be in the kitchen without a clue about what to cook and wishing take-away food in our area was readily available or that we had a maid to cook whenever I’m not feeling particularly inspired. Because my creativity doesn’t go as far as cooking 3 meals a day, seven days a week. Nah, that isn’t my thing.

On the healthy eating part, I’ve realized that healthy eating means giving up basically everything that makes life worth living. And that’s not happening, even though I have no intention of addicting myself (since that would kill me). I ain’t refraining from eating grilled meat, or fries or cheese so that I can live to be 90 years. What matters to me is the delight I derive from ingesting something that I love and enjoy. Do I feel good after eating a burger and fries or a pizza? Yes. Do I feel good after eating some sausage? Yes. How about after eating fried chicken? Very much, because it’s very delicious. I am forever grateful for the animals that end up on our plates, the meat which satisfies the carnivore in me. 

It’s always good having a good meal. And what a pleasure when I have a good meal, followed by a bottle of cold beer!

Eat well, enjoy life, be happy.



They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. But this here, is worth a bajillion words. Fond memories. Happy memories.

This was taken in 2011, if I remember well. We were at a party, 11 d’or party. I guess it was a birthday party. I don’t remember, I was there just for the food (read meat) and drinks. There were lots of drinks and brochettes. 

Later in the night, while the others were jammed in the living room, dancing; I and Jaz sat there, watching some pull out wild moves and boogieing like nobody’s watching. It’s always entertaining to watch others dance. But my legs never itch to hit the dancefloor. I can tell you why I hate dancing. One, I’m an introvert and I avoid (and hate) socializing with strangers. And dancing involves socializing to some extent. Second, people who like dancing can be aggressive about it, and think that I need to be dragged onto the dance floor. They feel like they’ve won points if they bully me into dancing. Or they think I secretly want to dance but I’m too shy to start…so they feel the need to pressure me into it. The idea of a big party with dancing is horrible to me. 

Back to the photo…

People wanted to drag us onto the dancefloor, and no matter how many times we said no, they kept insisting. What’s wrong with people anyway? So, we needed a spot, maybe in the corner of the room, where we could sit and watch in peace, without being disturbed. As we were trying to find a spot, the guy (in the picture) stopped us and asked where we were going. As Jaz was busy explaining, I couldn’t help it but laugh, and baam…the photo was taken!


The year was 2006, when I first saw Jaz. I never knew that that day in Senior 4 when I heard her argue about The Matrix (the movie) and I said to myself “she must be a really interesting girl!” would be the beginning of our journey. And indeed she is an amazing girl. After completing highschool we met again in 2010, sharing the same room on campus hostels. 7 years later, we are best friends. I am so lucky that this crazy world brought us together.

So, today is Jaz’ birthday and I am dedicating this post to her…I’m writing  things that I love about her.

  1. Her weird vocabulary. Ni akasamutwe! Haha
  2. Her integrity.
  3. Her determination. She sets a goal and works hard to achieve it.
  4. Her funny stories.
  5. Her love.
  6. To others she might seem as a sober lady (yes, she is) but underneath is one of the most loving and caring person I have ever met.
  7. I can speak my heart out to her.
  8. Even if we’re not in touch for ages, I know that she’s there for me.
  9. She brings sunshine into my life.
  10. She knows how to pamper me.
  11. She understands me.
  12. I can count on her. Always.
  13. Each time I think of her, I smile.
  14. I can trust on her advice.
  15. She’s a reflection of me. Truly.
  16. She’s seen me at my worst and still stood by me.
  17. She has more faith in me than I do in myself (thank you for believing in me, always).
  18. She works hard for what she wants. 
  19. Her love for movies.
  20. She is very very smart.
  21. We can make fun of each other and never take offense. She laughs at me when I fall but it’s cool, because I always laugh at her when she falls too. 
  22. Even when she laughs at me, I still feel loved.
  23. She talks me through hard situations without fail. What would I do without her?
  24. She is an inspiration to me…she’s one of the strong women whom I look up to.
  25. She loves meat.
  26. She’s the sister I never had.

Dear Jaz,

Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me for the past 7 years. I’m so grateful and blessed to have you in my life. 

A very very happy birthday to you.

I love you, to the moon and further. And I terribly miss you.

Do not hurt yourself, sweetie

It wasn’t her fault. She keeps telling herself that, though it’s not making things any easier. She feels like a fool. Belise, 24, third year university student, is interning at an insurance company. She is beautiful. She has been dating this guy, John, for almost a year. John calls her bae and texts her all the time, you know. He texts her things that make her think and long to be near him. He has saved her contact under the name Princess. He is the one who keeps asking the “Do you love me” questions. Belise is practically John’s ideal partner. Belise enjoys John’s company since he makes her feel truly beautiful, he’s fun to be around and makes her feel warm and happy inside. Belise is content with that.

Then out of the blue, his wife contacts her. John’s wife?

John and Soleil had been married for 6 years, before things started getting weird. Things had become strained in the marriage. Soleil read romantic texts and chat messages between the Princess and her husband, and she saw their photos together. It devastated her, but she couldn’t say she was entirely shocked. She felt hurt, angry and hopeless about the marriage. 

John cheated on Soleil with Belise, and contrary to popular belief, it was intentional. John cheated on purpose. Their affair began when they started working together. With the same schedules and working for the same boss, it was inevitable some sort of relationship would form. John could have told her that he wasn’t married or maybe he convinced her that he and Soleil had grown apart weeks before the eventual stolen kisses or maybe he just told her that Soleil was a demon. Hehe. But honestly who even knows for sure? John said he loved Belise. She said she did love him too.

Soleil had suspected infidelity for months. She was on the verge of breakdown, wondering whether she was crazy and if the late nights at work meant something more. Then Soleil finally posed the question that had been nagging at her for months. And baam, the ugly truth appeared. Was it a one-time drunken mistake or a months-long romantic affair? She kept wondering. Then she started thinking about the other woman. The Princess. Who is she? Did she know about me? Does he love her? Is she prettier, smarter? Why was he interested in her? Why her? There were so many questions. How could she live with herself? And the tears would begin. Soleil could imagine the princess. Easy. Desperate. Opportunistic. Conniving. With no conscience about jumping into bed with her man (or other men in relationships). With total disregard of his marital status, she enticed John with her seductive tricks. Hehe. A homewrecker who needs to be slut shamed and loathed with every fiber in her body. Soleil hates her. She stole her man. Soleil feels that given a chance, she would rip her apart.

Soleil finally learned her name. Belise. She found her number and called her. After Belise stopped taking her calls, the accusatory inbox messages on Facebook began. She called her a slut, a loose woman who threw herself at a married man. Hehe. Soleil accused her of stealing her husband, and destroying their marriage. It is pathetic when women engage in social media battles over a man. Proudly proclaiming to be the main chick, dragging each other over men who are not even worth it. Women shouldn’t be engaging in any battle over a man. Period! And if you have ever had a fight with another woman over a man, you already lost. Yes, both of you. The scumbag in the middle is the sole winner, because after enjoying some ass form both of you, he gets an ego boost as you tear each other apart over him. And on top of that, he knows that however things turn out, he’ll have at least one of you by his side. 


It wasn’t Belise’s fault. However, she felt awful about herself.

But let’s be real here. First of all, there is no such thing as stealing someone. How? Did she kidnap him? He went with her willingly, I’m assuming. Otherwise Soleil needed to get on the phone and file a missing person report. The truth and the only reason is that Belise slept with John because he consented. The blame should be his not hers. Belise was single, while John was married. And Belise did not force John’s hand. She did not lure him into any traps. She did not seduce him with some secret sensual powers. And if it wasn’t her, it most definitely would have been someone else. John was looking for an affair, not Belise in particular. Belise just happened to be in the right spot at the right time. Soleil had a right to be angry with both of them, but there’s no excuse for putting all the blame on Belise. If anything, it was entirely John’s fault for having an affair while he was married. Belise wasn’t the one breaking any vows or promises or violating any religious sacraments. 

When a man strays from his marriage, we are conditioned to blame the other woman. So, it was easy for Soleil to think that Belise is a bad person, but Belise was as much a victim in the situation as Soleil was. And you know what? It is not fair to blame the other woman alone. That’s fucked up. I’m not saying that homewreckers don’t exist. But thinking that all other women are homewreckers, is a silly notion. The other woman could have been lied to entirely. She might have had absolutely no clue the guy was in a relationship with or was married to someone else, and she’s probably upset (just like you) that the man she thought was awesome, is actually a scumbag. And it’s not her fault that you had problems in your marriage that made your man stray. She is not what drove your man to cheat. And she’s probably a good person. You don’t know this woman so you have no idea if she’s a bad person. But most importantly, no woman (with a good conscience) wants to be the other woman. Unless she is one of the home wrecking women of course.

So, my point is…

Let’s stop entirely blaming the other woman. Stop condemning her. Stop demonizing her. But why would you even hate her when she (the other woman) did you a favor and prevented you from ending up (if you’re not married yet) or staying with a lying asshole? You should thank her. Think about it. Also, no man should be able to move on with his life so quickly while the woman is being humiliated and enduring the wrath of the mistake, alone. If you are going to hate on immoral people, at least divide the hate equally.

Now for the don’t @ me part of the post: I am well aware that women cheat too. I am a woman and I am writing this from a female’s perspective. And as someone who has dealt with an “other woman” situation, if you find out that he has cheated on you or that he has a woman in his life, don’t hurt yourself going after the other woman. No one ever knows how they’ll react to being cheated on before it happens, that remains to be seen until it actually happens. But when it happens, whatever you do, never approach the other woman. Fight your man. He is the one who betrayed and lied to you. Not the other woman.

No, I ain’t angry

The longer you go by yourself, the weirder you get; and the weirder you get, the longer you go by yourself

~ Jim Shepard

Sing it, Shepard! 🎶🎵
Why are you angry?

People have been asking me that a loooot. I’m inclined to start saying yes. It used to bug me when people asked me that. A woman asked me that when I was at the migration offices, to collect my passport; and then a migration officer asked me that at the migration offices, because I looked angry (well, I was just sitting minding my business). They even ask me that at the market while I’m doing some shopping. And did I mention how shopping puts me in all the right moods? I’m a shopaholic, I confess. Yet someone asks me that while I’m shopping!? 

I used to smile and explain that I am okay. “No, no, no, I’m not angry at all!” I am great even. But lately, I have gotten tired of trying to explain that I ain’t angry or even smiling so that people are okay with my face. I don’t mind looking angry or mad anymore. You see, I may be in the happiest mood, and my heart may be doing them crazy somersaults, but then my face be like that of a cold-hearted ruthless manslayer. Because, for reasons He hasn’t disclosed to me yet, God chose to give me this face, that looks like an angry face to everyone. It’s my face, get used to it. 

This summer, I did a self-examination. Though it was short-lived, the results showed that:

  1. I am funny (in texts) but shy in person. And quiet in nature.
  2. I am mature but not mature-mature.
  3. I am very lazy, but again, highly motivated.
  4. I am layered like an onion. I don’t even understand myself sometimes.

So, I am seen as a weird person (you can’t win with people). But I’m still the funniest person I know. My mind is always busy with fun things. Like, I’ll be thinking about helping the Winchester brothers fight off them supernatural creatures when I’m attacked by a random person asking why I am angry. You think I’m angry, right? Well, yeah, now I am. The question makes my heart swell. And nowadays, I’m terrified that one day I’m going to lose it and hurl a series of offensive statements, as I walk away…


I’ve come to accept this truth about myself. I find it tiring being too busy trying not to be weird, or pretending not to be. And I no longer mind how people see me. Wait…did I just say see me? So, people can (really) see me? Hehe. Well, I hope they see me as a very cool person. Okay, okay, they never seem to notice me. So, how would I know how they see me?

But anyways, what’s wrong with being a weirdo anyway? Nothing. Weirdness. I know a thing or two about being a weird person. Being weird is very OK. As long it’s the good kind of weird, a good weird that serves a purpose. Not the awful, creepy, grotesque kind of weird, as they are listed as the synonyms to the word weird. You see, by nature, I am a quiet person and an introvert. I don’t do small talk, and the idea of starting a conversation with a stranger completely paralyzes me. But since that’s what normal people do, being normal like everyone else scares the hell out of me. I spent years hating how socially awkward I am. I often questioned why on earth I was chosen to be like that. And I have tried my whole life to change that. But it seems that I am just a born weirdo. And no, I don’t hate people. I’m just against the usual rules of society. I like other ways of getting along with people. Ways that most people consider weird. Ways that have nothing to do with exchanging small talk with other people. Thus, I am weird.

I’m weird because I like being alone. I’m weird because I imagine a loooot. I’m weird because I can stay indoors the whole day, watching movies all by myself. I’m weird because I don’t like talking (to strangers). I usually walk wearing my earphones even when there’s nothing playing, just to avoid people talking to me. But sometimes, a person clearly sees that I’m wearing earphones and will still try to start a conversation? Really? What’s wrong with people anyway? I’m even weirder because I’m a funny yet quiet person. I have always been told that I should be more talkative with people.

That makes my blood boil! I’ll take weird over that any day. People don’t get it that if I’m leaving you alone it’s because either I don’t like you or I feel we are not connecting or you bore me or I know I’m going to bore you or I would rather be doing something else right now than talking to you. Instead, they be there, suggesting that I should be more talkative. And because I’m not, they label me as weird. And think that because I’m a quiet person, I am angry as well. Hehe. Apparently, I’m not supposed to be quiet and happy. How ironic! Well get it from me…I ain’t angry. I am happy. I am content with my life. 

I’m embracing my odd, outlandish, weird nature.