Ineza & Icyeza

Behind my sane weird self is my two good ladies; INEZA and ICYEZA.

INEZA: Our story begins in January 2015. The very first time I laid my eyes on her smooth black body, I fell in love. Her beauty is breath-taking. This is where this post may sound ‘gay’, my fingers have been accustomed to touching her.

I don’t know Ineza’s actual age because I didn’t bother to ask her. Who even starts a relationship by asking a lady her age? That’s rude and misplaced. Because it puts the person in a very awkward position of not knowing what kind of judgement you are going to make about them based on that. Unless you have a clear purpose beyond curiosity, better not to go there. So, I didn’t want to start our relationship on such terms, you know.

Anyways, we’ve been together for over 3 years now.

Ineza holds some of my memories, my secrets, my dreams…she’s like my personal assistant (only that she works for free). Ineza has been with me for all the good and bad…through my heartbreak, through school and internships, through writing my thesis, defending it and graduation, starting my art career…till this very moment. Ineza is my baby.

However, just like any other relationship, I and Ineza go through rough patches (and she’s annoying when she acts up). I have to admit that sometimes I don’t have the patience to try to solve our problems. And when I’m not in the mood to try for a while, I just leave her (shut down) for a few hours. The good thing about her is that she doesn’t mind. She welcomes me back as if nothing bad ever happened.

I just love Ineza. Ineza is an Acer. E5-521-885V, to be precise.

ICYEZA: Icyeza was a beauty. A black beauty, to be precise. Her soft round edges and her soft back that curved into the palm of my hands nicely, allowed me to grip her body easily. And her feather-light weight made it extremely comfortable to hold her.

Icyeza was the first touchscreen smartphone I had. Back then, almost everyone I knew already had one and I considered myself behind the times. Prior to Icyeza, I’d a Nokia E71.

Icyeza was a black Motorola G2. I used Icyeza for a few practical purposes…reading the news, listening to music, drafting blog posts (like this one), texting people, setting an alarm now and then, playing games, taking photos, watching videos…Icyeza kept me productive and connected at almost every place I went. If I didn’t know the meaning of a word, I could look it up. If I needed to read about a certain topic, I could look it up. If I didn’t know who the new South African president is, I looked it up. If I needed to call or text Vicki, there she was. Icyeza handled all this perfectly. So convenient.

Over the years, Icyeza had acquired dust and dirt, internal temperatures rose and as the problem worsened, her efficiency reduced, slowing her down. Initially, I was able to fix such problems by uninstalling apps, deleting photos, videos and the likes that made her go wonky. Icyeza had become sluggish…opening apps was an exercise in patience. The battery was dying more and more quickly after a full charge. She was becoming a source of stress and frustration. I spent most of the time wanting to smash her with a hammer. Fortunately, there was never a hammer in the room. Or even nearby.

Icyeza was covered in dents and scratches from dropping her on the pavement. She had no case, no screen protector but the screen has held up just fine until recently when it gave in and broke into pieces.

Icyeza wasn’t as beautiful as she used to be, but she was still a beast, and a beauty. Very convenient. Icyeza had been my baby for around 5 years and she had given me so many happy moments. And after all that time, I still marvelled at how well she still functioned.

I had vowed not to let go of Icyeza. Unless when she became kaput. But since I’d formed some sort of emotional attachment to Icyeza, I couldn’t imagine the day when Icyeza would be completely defeated. And gone. I knew that there would come a time when I’d have to replace her because of technology. And I knew that it would be hard for me, because well, I’d already caught feelings. Strange, but true.

We simply had a bond.

Icyeza has been so good. But now, she is gone.

Dear Icyeza, thanks for the 5 years.


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