Letter to my younger self

Dear Angela,

You aren’t sure what’s ahead, and the unknown scares you. There are times when you won’t know what to do. You’ll lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for what seems like days trying to figure out your life. You’ll wish you could sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree and money in the bank. What you’re feeling is normal. It’s understandable.
Breathe in. Breathe out. You’ll be fine fine. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Relax, you’ll become an adult and you’ll figure it out. You’ve a whole lifetime.

You’ll fail not once, not twice but many times. Go easy on yourself. Know that anyone who’s ever wanted anything in this world most, had to take risks. Luckily, the failures will leave you with many valuable life lessons. Embrace the difficulties you’ll encounter and learn from them. Good and bad things happen in life, just keep living and do not stress over what you can’t control. Worrying is a waste of time.
You may lose the people you love. You may lose things you have. But whatever happens, never lose yourself.
And no matter how far you go on the wrong road, you can still turn around.

You’ll fall in love several times. Guys no different from any other guy will wander into your life. You’ll give them a piece of yourself, that they didn’t ask for. Just because they did something dumb like smile at you, and your heart won’t be yours anymore. Then you’ll get your heart broken. You’ll wish there was a pill that could protect your fragile heart.
There will be many times when you’ll wonder if you’ll be able to feel anything again or love again. You’ll want to shut down, crawl into your bed and never come out again. You’ll stop believing the love that you hear about in music lyrics and see in movie scenes. You’ll find yourself in a place that’s rather empty. But God will heal the open wounds on that gorgeous heart of yours and patch them up. And you will heal from the hurt and the pain. Each one will teach you a valuable lesson in love.

Schools teach irrelevant things, but not how to cope with real life. They teach how to solve an equation but not how to handle heartbreaks. I would love for you to learn self-love and why it’s important. It’s not only loving others that matters, loving yourself also does. You’ll spend so many years of education but nobody will teach you of self-love, yet loving yourself is an essential part of living. You are worthy of your own love. Take the love that you have for others and turn it back toward yourself. Learn to love yourself so much that when someone enters your life and treats you negatively, you’ll stand up for yourself and let them go. Know your worth so that you won’t be a slave to apologies and not be afraid to walk away when not treated right. Let people in your life who treat you with the love and respect you deserve. You deserve the most pure, whole and authentic love. The biggest mistake you can make is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much, forgetting that you too are special (you’ll only understand when you get there).

Do not let loneliness lead you to the wrong person (again). Do not let your past make you shut down on true love. Be proud you risked your heart. And get ready to do it again because that’s the only way you’ll find real and lasting love. Love won’t forsake you. Do not harden your heart entirely. Take the time to heal. Don’t be scared forever. Love will still be out there, hiding somewhere and you’ll find love again. You’ll just need to be patient. Sooner or later someone who fits will come along. Someone who will not be afraid of how much you love and won’t stay on the shores but will meet you in the depth. Someone who’ll accept all of you, the dark, the light and the blurry in between. Someone who’ll be attentive and kind and humble. Someone who’ll not make you sad, someone who’ll never hold you back from the life you’ve always imagined yourself living. Never will he hurt your feelings or make you feel that you’re not good enough. Rather he’ll build you up. Because love is many things but not deceitful. Nothing toxic comes from love. And love liberates.

You’ll get to a point where you’ll get used to everything. People driven by ego and money. Good souls ruined daily. People hurting you and not caring that they did. Promises broken even though they were promised. People you used to talk to often that you’ll never speak to again. But always be thankful for the bad things in life for they open your eyes to see the good things you weren’t paying attention to before.
Hate no one, no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Think positively, no matter how hard life gets. Give much even if you’ve been given little. Forgive all. Always pray for the best of everyone. And give love like your life depends on it.

Enjoy every moment for it’ll never be this way again. Live your life fully. It is far too short to do otherwise. Always find time to laugh.

Love,

Your older wiser self

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