Honest Hour

I’ve watched plenty of movies where cancerous patients are told that they have few months/a year to live. And lately I’ve been questioning myself ”if I had one year to live, how would I spend it??” Choices about how to spend my time that seem so agonizing now would be very simple ─ the only limiting factor would be money and trying to figure out how to balance all the things I really really really want to do.

If I had one year to live, I would have a baby. Yes, you heard me, a baby! And worry not, the potential man to father my child is already there.

I can imagine the joy that comes with giving birth. Motherhood has a positive effect on one’s life─ la joie d’être maman ─ I have seen my former classmates and friends get married and have babies…it was life-changing for them, and I know it’s one of the best things in life. They must be enjoying it, it is a lot of fun. There are lots and lots of sacrifices and demands of parenthood…especially when all the baby wants to do is scream and grizzle and regurgitate its latest feed over your shoulder, but it’s definitely worth it.

Ofcourse, there are other thing I would do besides having a baby.

Traveling… I would fly to see the people I love most who I haven’t seen in years. Making the first stop at my godmother’s place ─ go hug her and tell her how much she means to me…and take tons of pictures. She has been very supportive of me in every way possible, I could never thank her enough. I would want her to know how much impact she has had on my life, and how much I love her.

If I had one year left I would find a way to go on a vacation for weeks on end with MINE. I would talk to God as often as I could.

In this imaginary scenario, like with any illness, I wouldn’t blow all my money or gorge myself into weight gain. I would only allow into my life anyone who brings out the best in me ─ these are the people I enjoy, who love and appreciate me, and who have always encouraged me to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make me feel more alive, and embrace who I am ─ and finally have the strength and absolute clarity to say NO to anything that drains happiness away from me.

I would try to be a lot nicer to MINE, and I would be more picky about how I spend my time than ever. I would spend as much of my time as possible doing the very most meaningful, invigorating, joyful and fulfilling ─ infusing my cells with joy.

Basically that’s what I would do, if I had one year to live.

But a baby, hits the top of the list.

And if I only had one day to live, how I’d spend it…well, that’s pretty simple. Who would I spend my time with? MINE, of course. Would I want to spend it freezing in the Musanze rain together, complaining about the weather and the poor customer service here? Hell no!


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