Grief she knows, Loss not so much

She swallowed hard. She blinked several times. As the man described the head-on collision, she stood frozen in disbelief. Tears rolling down her cheeks.

Few experiences are as difficult as losing a loved one. It’s more devastating when it’s an unexpected loss of a loved one who is taken in an accident. It is shocking and changes your life forever. Without warning, your family and your life are no longer complete.

On laying eyes on her little boy, lying on the hospital bed, she screamed. She sat besides him, weeping. “This did not need to happen”, she kept telling to herself.

The next morning, the boy was gone. That was when the world went dark for her. The loss of her only child made her life meaningless. She spent many hours simply doing nothing. Just sitting and staring into space, with a tear-stained face, desperately trying to make sense of it all. She felt that she would never have the capacity to feel happiness again, would never laugh, would never feel the joy of the things that she had previously loved. A few hours she most likely spent alone. All alone. Thinking. Praying. Wrestling within. A struggle too deep for words.

The hospital held the body hostage until she had cleared the medical bills. But she had no money. She sold fruits, and sometimes vegetables. She could scarcely eke out a living. Her friends collected some money, but it wasn’t enough. The hospital could not hear anything on this matter insisting that the bill had to be cleared or else the body would not be released. She was embittered by poverty and failure. She thought of selling her house. But then, where would she go after the funerals? Selling her house was not an option. She knew that as the days would pass by, the bill would get even bigger. She had to act quickly. Time wasn’t on her side.

Then the next morning, a nurse told her that all the bill had been cleared. The room was full of jaw-dropped stares. Someone had heard about her loss and financial problems, from the hospital, and cleared her bill. That person had also left her some extra cash. She asked who it was, but was told that the person preferred to stay anonymous. She wept tears of happiness ― finally she was going to take out the body for burial.

For few months after the burial, she lived cut-off from her former manner of life — in solitude, quietness, and obscurity. 6 months on from his death, she visits his graveside every day as she struggles to come to terms with losing her little boy. On days when he is on her mind, she doesn’t want to live anymore because she doesn’t want to feel the pain ever again. That’s most days. It doesn’t feel like it will ever truly transform. She finds herself a different woman — much deeper. She changed.

Over time, the grief has begun to fade. It is still there, but it doesn’t rule her life in the way that it did. It still has the power to take her breath away. She still has days when she can see nothing but loss.

She has used the money to start a small business. A small grocery shop. She is getting on her feet. Every morning before starting her day, she blesses the anonymous helper. And every night before going to bed. She still hopes to get the opportunity to thank her, in person.

 

Everybody needs such a person in life, to help them through tough times and to let them know that someone cares. Someone who watches out for them and help them, regardless of what’s in it for them.

A Guardian Angel.

They don’t have to have wings and a halo to be someone’s guardian angel. They just need to love and care for that person, even for a person they don’t really know.

…most we will never meet. We’ll never know by name. They are content to remain in the shadows, oblivious to the lure of lights and applause. Nevertheless, they are heroes ― because of their selfless acts. Faithfully carrying on. Faithfully giving hope to the discouraged. None will ever know, until eternity dawns, the enormity of their investment…

And it is permanent.

 

I’m blessed to have such a person in my life ― Angelic as her name. I can’t love her enough.