Before I completed high school, I had unrealistic expectations about “the ideal guy”. Just like many other girls, fairy tales had always captured my attention. Those fairy tales that told us of the meeting of the handsome young Prince and the beautiful young Princess.
I’d a mile-long superficial list…a guy over 6 feet tall with a full head of hair, nice big eyes, long fingers, physically fit (not slim). A guy who has at least a 5-figure salary, his own place, a great personality (with a sense of humor, of course) and has no previous relationship baggage. A clean and tidy guy, who can cook very well, who loves to travel and can speak more than two languages (French being a MUST!). One who would enjoy the things I do and loves children and my family…bla blaah!
I had set my expectations too high! Unfortunately for us women, these men make up only about 10% of the population and half of them are gay (sure you might get lucky and find one, but the reality is you might not.)
So I waited. And I got knocked down. Eventually I realized there was no prince on his way, he didn’t exist (welcome to real life. It’s where you live!). I had to forget what the books have told us. There is no Prince Charming, no fairy tale ending (someone should sue Disney for making little girls think everyone has a prince charming). If there was, we’d all be living happily ever after. But sadly, there’s no such thing. There’s no recipe, no secret. There is hard work, compromise, sacrifice, heartbreaking and trying times, soul-searching, faith-leaping and, yes, dream-fulfilling, pinch yourself moments, too.
I am responsible for my life. Then I met a guy…I don’t have it all figured out still. But rather than spending my days in misery dwelling on the perfect men that don’t exist (and watching romantic movies and wishing that boys would them, take notes, and learn to be the perfect boyfriends), I am writing my own happily ever after on a more realistic level. No tiaras, castles or princes needed. I would spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing I had wings.
I accept him for who he is…his flaws (so what if he has a messy closet, would I really be spending time in there?) and I don’t want to fix him to be perfect. We need to love someone for who they are and who they can become, not for what we think we can make them if we are lucky. Everything about the guy is just right. It will always take continued effort to keep the relationship alive. I do know that any relationship is a deal, a pact, a negotiation. So I got to keep the fire burning!
Frankly, I hope my life is never complete. The yearning to better myself, learn more and reach that next level is what keeps me going.