I’ve come a long way

I never thought I would share this story. I never really wanted to, but I am. I guess this is going to serve as a therapy of some sort. I’m not sure what kind, maybe it’ll relieve some of the pain that’s been on my chest, a couple of years ago…

Some women are so much more inconsiderate that it makes me want to start spitting all over the place. There is this one in particular…I’m a woman though, so before I act, I think. I don’t just do whatever I feel like doing.

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years and things are going really well, though I first went through very rough days, to get to where I am now…the only problem I had was this woman trying to steal HIM away from me. And I was sick and tired of it! My boyfriend has known this woman since I don’t know when. In fact I guess she has had a crush on him from since I don’t know when…But why did she have to go for my man, when there are lots of single men? It ate away at me day and night because deep down, I honestly couldn’t understand her. I kept asking myself one question…How would she feel if she was going through the same?

She knew that we’re dating, yet she still continued to flirt with him, even in front of me. I never really confronted my boyfriend about her, because I knew it would be one of those conversations where it would get worse when the tears came out. So I saved us some breath. I hated this woman because she seemed to enjoy hurting me. And I am very sure that if she had to face the same, she’d all be curled up in a fetal position, crying in the corner of her house.

One day when I was furiously looking into why single women make a play for men that are attached, after an incident being on the negative receiving end of this woman’s advances towards my boyfriend (it was one of those gray and gloomy days that slowly move towards even darker shadows. I was SOOO angry then I could spit fire, if I could!). Having just read an article on the internet, it made me realize that I am helping her cause (to destroy what we have).

I never talked to her. I’m not the type of chick who would go to another chick’s house to quarrel or fight with her over a man (bakarinda bampfuragura umusatsi erega?! Wapii kabisa!) I think this is pointless. I was not raised to degrade myself in this manner. I took that pain with a grain of salt and worked on myself, like I had promised myself.

I just started ignoring her and what she did *as if she never existed*, I would just brush it off…I moved ALL my attention to my man. I just concentrated on loving my man. I did my best, to be the best version of me. I once read somewhere that ‘No matter how sure you are of someone’s love, it is always nice to be reminded of it.’ And that’s what I did; I kept reminding him of my love for him. And they say that if you love someone to the point of madness, they will become it.

And yes, I loved him and still love him (gukunda umuntu urukundo rurwaza muzunga). Now things are going very well, like nothing never ever happened. I am happy with him. Because of him I can feel myself slowly becoming the ‘me’ I’ve always dreamed of being. I believe in love but I always had my doubts (Can you blame me?) Today when I see her, I smile to myself. I no longer hate her, I just pity her!

Woman, do you have a man? If you do, better beware…chances are that some lone female has her eye on him.

I’ve come a long way, baby!


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