ANTI-BUCKET LIST

There are a lot of things I don’t want to do.

Ever.

Because of personal taste.

I think that everyone should have some sort of list like this, whether it’s written down, or just simply in that noggin of yours somewhere. Having such a list allows us to maximize every moment we have and live life to the fullest.

This list is full of items that I hope I don’t ever have to do, see, hear or experience in my lifetime (again). After all, life is just too short to repeat what didn’t work for you the first time.

  • imagesI will never lose sight of who my closest true friends are. Though I can count them on one hand, they are the people that truly care about me and my happiness. They mean the most to me and I will never allow myself to forget about them or what they have done for me. (K.J.V. you rock, girls!)
  • Donate blood. And this doesn’t make me a selfish person.
  • I will never run for political office.
  • 117fda612dd0363b2c3c28550c852bd6Outgrow my weirdness. Being a little crazy is a good thing, it means you’re human. It’s the trying to contain and hide the crazy, so you can keep up appearances, that causes the real madness. Ask my son, he will tell you I am CRAZY.
  • I will never give up on life. Even though it is hard, I always have something worth living for.
  • Cheat on anyone in any relationship. Why waste energy on a million guys when I could put that energy towards learning with the man I choose above all others?
  • I will never wear fake anything. No fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs, fake ass, fake eyelashes. I am comfortable in my own skin.
  • Nag my boyfriend/husband.
  • I will never stop saying “thank you”.
  • Willingly touching or consuming a reptile – any reptile
  • I will never have a pet cat. I sort of believe that cats are evil creatures.
  • Fight (with another woman) over a guy. I think this is pointless. I was not raised to degrade myself in this manner.
  • I will never wear bikinis.
  • Become a vegetarian. Apologies, but I just love my meat. Beef, pork, goat meat…
  • I will never smoke or try drugs. Not the illegal type, or pills, to me they are all the same.
  • Worrying about what tomorrow brings/holds. Worrying about the future i as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing gum.
  • I will never care about materialistic/designer anything. Why buy branded stuff that’s worth a kidney? Even if I have money to use as toilet paper, I’m never buying expensive stuff. I like to think that I could spend my money on much more important things (like traveling with my Dolphin or spoiling him).
  • Kill someone. I really don’t want to accidentally (or not) murder anyone, or be forced to because of self-defense. I pray I never kill someone. I’d have a pretty hard time with that.
  • Use public toilets (especially those in bus parks and market places). Some things are just not worth the risk and this is one of them. I would rather have my bladder literally explode than relieve myself in one of those.
  • I will never call a radio station and request a Song.
  • I will never get plastic surgery. No thanks. I like the way I look. I’m accustomed to the face I see in the mirror, and the hints of those it resembles.
  • Consciously break the law. I wouldn’t survive prison.
  • Take life too seriously: there are a lot of serious things in life, and if you can’t laugh then you might as well put yourself into solitary confinement.
  • I will never let my independence slip away. Regardless if I am in a committed relationship, engaged, or married.
  • End up in an Emergency Room wearing my worst pair of underwear. They say one never knows what the day may bring and, God forbid, you need some medical attention and are dying of embarrassment, wearing your worn out panties in front of a cute doctor.
  • Lose my hair. Imagine me with no hair. Bald. My face is chubby as is. Now if I lost all my hair, oh my gosh!

The first time…

She had no intentions of having a boyfriend. One would think this would indicate she was perhaps a lesbian, but that wasn’t the case. She always said guys are nothing but distractions. It seemed that she had plans. Big plans.

She had not fully confessed to herself that she liked Foyeen Wanu but after that kiss…she felt like she might have some feelings for him. Her name is Beel L’Outhe. Everybody calls her Bee. They had known each other through social media. And soon enough began chatting as though they had been long time friends.

Bee was new at campus. She knew Foyeen was studying there too, but she hadn’t gotten the chance to meet him in person.

“Hi Bee. You’ve nice finger nails” A message pooped on her screen.

“Where did you see them?”

“We meet almost everyday…though you ignore me”

She knew the guy knew her…from her pictures on the internet. One Tuesday morning they agreed to meet, in the evening, after lectures.

She was standing by the road side, waiting to cross to the other side of the road. She was staring at her phone. She typed “I’ll be there in few minutes” and clicked on SEND.

“Hi, Bee”

She immediately turned, only to see a giant figure standing in front of her. Could this be the one of the Greek gods she always read about in books and heard from school? She wasn’t expecting to be meeting him there. She straightened out her arm to give him a hand shake. But instead he spread his arms for a hug. He wore light blue faded jeans, a black jumper with a hood and sneakers. His broad shoulders, large chest…there was no way she was going to deprive herself of the hug.

She ran into his arms, like a girl running into her dad’s arms. Resting her head on his chest, she felt his heartbeat. She could smell his perfume. She felt at peace.

wth himFrom there and then, they became close friends. They began hanging out. He soon showed her his place; a “ghetto” as they call them at campus. She could visit him on weekends and after lectures. And they would walk in the neighborhood around campus, holding hands, laughing. Bee enjoyed his company. Really.

It was a day unlike the others, though neither Foyeen nor Bee knew nothing about it. As soon as the lecture stepped out, Bee went straight to Foyeen’s place. He had invited her for lunch.

He was getting ready to walk her back to the hostel. Bee lay on bed waiting for him to get ready. He pulled in his jumper. Suddenly, Foyeen began approaching her. He slightly bent to mount onto the bed and her heart began racing. She saw the look in his eyes, and knew what was waiting for her. Bee felt like she was being tied by ropes onto the bed. Her hands began trembling. She was 19 and felt super awkward about never being kissed before. She was so nervous.

Foyeen was now on top of Bee, on all fours. He looked her into the eyes…he could tell it that she wanted it but was shy. She never made a movement. Neither did she try to push him off. He took it as an invitation and he leaned forward until his lips touched hers. She closed her eyes. It was as if her whole body was being electrocuted. She just laid there like tree log…until she finally kissed him back. Then they ended up kissing for a few more minutes. It was soft and tender. It was sensational, she could feel and smell him as they kissed. She pulled away and then…His kissing beggars description. It was longer than a peck, and still the cutest thing she experienced. It was everything she wanted.

One tends never to forget the first time someone takes their breath away.

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